La Vie Boheme High School Musical edition
by Elena Ryan
Summary: In that little town of Bethleham, we raise our glass, you bet your ass, To La Vie...Boheme!


**_Okay so the song 'La Vie Boheme' from RENT is stuck in my head, going on three days, it's a great musical and movie and I just felt making it into a story using High School Musical characters. Please let me know what you think :)_**

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><p><strong>La Vie Boheme<strong>

"Who died?" asked Zeke, his effeminate eyes sparkling with open curiosity as his lips were full and pouty. His short bob wig framing his face perfectly. Ryan, with his eyes that were a magnificent green colour that once glinted with the same mischief as his friends, sighed and looked down at his hands that were clenched slightly. His tone was clipped as he spoke, "our akita." Troy and Chad, widened their eyes and turned toward each other, "Evita." they said at the same time. Zeke sighed slightly, looking down then back up at Ryan who was wearing a humourless smirk with blank eyes. With a hollow chuckl, "you make fun, but I'm the one attempting to do some good"- he started walking around the table- "or do you really want a neighborhood where people piss on your stoop every night?" he stopped at the end of the table; everyone looking at him.

_Bohemia, Bohemia's _

_A fallacy in your head_

_This is Calcutta_

He walked around the other side, stopping behind Troy and Chad. Bending slightly, he hissed in Chad's ear. "Bohemia is dead." Chad rolled his eyes, pushing away from the three conjoined tables; walking to the end of the table that was closest to where Ryan and his ass kissers were sitting, he glared at them before turning around and leaning his hands on the flat, red chipping surface, with a horrible attempt at feigning sadness. But then again, he meant it to be poorly acted out. "Dearly beloved we gather here to say our Goodbyes…"

Smirking, Troy and Jason stood, holding out their hands as if they were marble tributes to the saints of the catholic church. From their guts they sang,

_Dies irae, dies illa_

Chad stretched his arms and then crossed them over his chest as if he was placed in a coffin, he fell backwards, and as he did he made sure that the timber of his voice carried and was heard over the semi-bustling restaurant, "Here she lies!"

_Kyrie eleison _

The people at the table, Sharpay, Taylor, Troy, Jason, everyone; played along, pretending that this so called 'death of Bohemia' was tragic, instead of a celebration. The restaurant grew quiet, seeing everyone at the three tables together stand and gently move the erratic curly haired filmmaker to the end. Chad continued to sing, "No one knew her worth,"

_Yitgadal v'yitkadash_

They started rocking him back and forth, gently, as if he were a babe in a cradle that was desperate to fight sleep. Mostly they couldn't keep from laughing, "The late great daughter of Mother Earth," he reached his hands up as if he was rejoicing some great miracle happening then he put them back on his chest as he was continued being rocked. "On these nights when we celebrate the birth. In that little town of Bethlehem, we raise our glass"- Sharpay had stepped on to the table, Taylor (her girlfriend) admiring her body as she undid her pants button and zipper and then her belt, Chad smirked, oh yes Sharpay was always a wild one.- "you bet your ass!" she slid her pants over her backside and mooned Ryan and his 'colleagues', but it was only for a moment, she pulled them back up and picked up a glass, holding it in the air.

Chad did the same, but he held his for longer, his voice ringing in the air with a lightness. "To….La Vie…."- he clinked glasses with his ex-girlfriend, and brought it to his lips, tasting the stale beer and swallowing quickly as he said, "Boheme!"

Sharpay gulped her drink, and then handed the empty glass to a random person at the table, she shimmied her pants so that they would fall down, she turned, and Taylor took her hand and helped her down to her chair. Sharpay sent her twin brother a dirty sneer and also flipped him the bird, telling him to fuck off. He wasn't the same guy she knew, he wanted success and she liked who she was in the slums of New York here in Alphabet City.

_La Vie Boheme_

The table was loud, full of cheers and people making music on the table. Clinking silverware on glasses and each other. Chad stomped his feet, and clapped his hands.

_La Vie Boheme_

_La Vie Boheme_

_La Vie Boheme_

Chad did a swagger move with his knees like Michael Jackson, and grabbed at his crotch, and then made a fist pump in the air, "To days of inspiration, playing hookie, making something out of nothing," he jumped to the side, grabbing the front of his shirt and then flattened his hands against his chest and slid them down his body. "The need to express! To communicate." People around him danced, but the others in the restaurant that weren't part of his circle of friends and misfits, just stared or tried to leave immediately.

_Going against the grain_

_Going insane_

_Going mad_

Chad shrugged his shoulders, jumping off the table and sitting on Ryan's table, doing a little mini dougie while sitting there. "To loving tension, no pension to more than one demension"- he wrapped a greasy arm around Ryan, who nearly gagged and tried to pry himself away but Chad held him in that choke hold- " To starving for attention, hating convention, hating pretension." Chad shoved Ryan so hard that he nearly from his chair, as he ran the two feet back to the table and jumped on it, "Not to mention, of course, hating dear old mom and dad."

_To riding your bike midday_

_Past the three-pierce suits_

_To fruits to no absolutes_

_(La Vie Boheme)_

_To Absolut _

_To choice_

_To the 'Village Voice' _

_To any passing fad_

Chad did a little jig, step ball change with his feet and a kick flip, but landing on his feet again. Sharpay hugged Chad's legs, and pursed her lips as she sang 'ooooh', "To being an 'us' for once instead of a 'them'!"

"LA VIE BOHEME!" Every body screamed, Sharpay had let go and Chad jumped off the table., going back to where he was sitting before. Everyone at the table was jamming, and Sharpay felt the need to pull Taylor in and slide her hands over her breasts, Taylor smirked playfully, and moved her chocolate toned h ands to grope the blondes backside, an elderly man at Ryan's table cleared his throat and Taylor and Sharpay looked at them, "Hey mister," Sharpay said, pulling Taylor close and putting her hands on her ass, "she's my sister." she pinched her butt hard and they laughed.

They sat down as a waiter came running with a notepad, screaming an order of food, "so that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad, three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter, and one pasta with meatless balls?"

Silence, every one stared at the waiter then at each other, Troy grimaced and wrinkled his nose and curled his lips in disgust. "Ew."

Jason looked at him, shrugging it off, but his tone held the same amount of disgust. "Dude, tastes the same…" Gabriella choked on her drink, "Yeah if you close your eyes."

The waiter, walked around the table reading off the list, "and thirteen orders of fries, is that here?" Everyone turned and shouted, "WINE AND BEER!" Gabriella, feeling the adrenaline-and the annoyance that Troy had invited her and hadn't even made the move to talk to her at all- jumped on the table as an hope that he would notice and talk to her. If not then she'd make the first move. Again.

She held her glass of beer, and showed it to the table, her voice clear and pretty as ringing bells in a Spanish church. "To handcrafted beers made in local breweries." Zeke got up on the table, sliding under Gabriella's legs, singing with her.

_To yoga to yogurt _

_To rice and beans and cheese_

_To leather to dildos _

_To curry vindaloo_

Zeke slid back from Gabriella's legs and started dancing behind her, they looked like a Spanish Buda, except neither of them were fat and one was a dude dressed like a chick, and the other was a very pretty Latina woman that Troy was too stubborn to admit that he liked. Zeke focused more on dancing, Gabriella did both, "To huervos rancheros and Maya Angelou." She started dancing the dance of her home country, Zeke, dancing the same way as he started to sing, his voice resembling both male and female parts in a choir. Everyone cheered.

"Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion." Zeke and Gabriella twirled on the table, singing the final words together, Chad stood at the side, clapping, Troy had turned away (a tight feeling growing in his jeans that he had wanted to get rid of by splashing cold ice down his boxer shorts. "To creation, vacation…" she had her legs spread apart and Zeke tapped her covered vaginal lips lightly in pure playfulness, Chad laughed as did everybody else as he looked at the watchers and said, "Mucho masterbation."

Ryan lowered his head, okay so talking to them kindly didn't work…in fact, was it possible for him to get embarrassed by his 'friends' in front of his new colleagues and his father in law? Answer: Yes, there was definitely a snow balls chance in hell of surviving the blistering heat with these guys embarrassing them. How was he going to deal with this….ah! He felt like screaming.

_Compassing_

_To fashion_

_To passion when its new_

_To sontag_

_To Sondheim_

_To anything taboo_

People were dancing on the tables, even the ones who weren't originally in the circle, they were getting into the commotion that was being caused now. They thought it was….'fun'. Ryan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, closed his eyes tightly. Listening to the semi steady pounding of his erratic heart, feeling the heat reach his face and burn his ears.

_Ginsberg_

_Dylan_

_Cunningham_

_And Cage_

Lord help him.

Troy laughed, getting up on the table with Jason, Troy was actually smiling in God knows how long its been since he has done a simple act of happiness. Jason pointed to Troy with a stoned smile on his face, "Lenny Bruce," Troy pointed to Zeke and laughed, "Langston Hughs." Sharpay laid across the table on her back, kicking her foot out and stretching her arms above her head, her voice squealing as she said, "And the stage!"

_To uta_

_To buda_

_Pablo Neruda too_

They did a mock tango toward the end of the table and jumped off, Jason being stoned nearly fell back against the edge, he caught himself and he and Troy ran around the table again. It was fun, everyone reverting back to childlike fun and glee.

_Why Dorothy and Toto_

_Went over the rainbow_

_To blow off Auntie Em_

_La Vie Boheme!_

Sharpay and Taylor latched their lips together, leaning on the table and their hands groping each other, the older gentleman looked at them with a shocked and aghast look and raised eyebrows. "Sisters?" they stopped and looked at him, saying to the beat of each others voices, "We're close." They giggled and pulled away from the table, revealing Jason and Zeke who broke from what they were doing and they smiled, shouting at the top of their lungs with everyone else. "BROTHERS!"

_Bisexuals_

_Trisexuals_

_Homo sapiens_

_Carcinogens_

_Hallucinogens_

_Men_

_Pee Wee Herman_

_German Wine_

_Turpentine_

_Gertrude Stein_

Okay this was getting out of hand, Ryan couldn't believe his eyes…all right, he could barely sustain enough courage and bile to stay down to watch. He watched as his father in law and his colleagues started to stand and he gulped. Well, this wasn't good.

_Antonioni_

_Ber tolucci_

_Kurosawa_

_Carmina Burana_

_To apathy _

_To entropy_

_To empathy_

_Ecstasy_

Crap, crap, crap, this wasn't good at all. Ryan sucked in a breath, standing up with his father in law, trying to think of a reason to explain everything. Why his friends behaved like monkey's on crack and why the fact that his twin sister was kissing and practically mating on the tables and booths of the restaurant. How does one explain all that!

_Vaclav Havel,_

_The Sex Pistols, _

_8BC_

Zeke and Jason were at the end of the table, Zeke, close enough to Zeke's backside that no one could tell that they were two people but they looked like Siamese twins. "To no shame in playing fame game." Jason tried to stand, but he was stoned, and the fact that he had a cig in his mouth didn't help him get less stoned. He fell back and Zeke caught him, he laughed and wrapped his hands around his chest, Jason smiled and took the cig from his mouth. "TO MARIJUANA!" he yelled, Zeke bucked his hips to Jason's ass, causing Jason to jump slightly and relax against his lover.

_To sodomy _

_Its between God and me_

No. No no no! They were leaving! Ryan had to do something, but it seemed that everything he tried, he failed, so he sucked in an embarrassed breath, and picked up his jacket. Shouting above the noise so he'd be heard, "Waiter Waiter Waiter!"

_To S & M _

As Ryan and his guys left, like cowards with tails between their legs, Sharpay shouted the loudest after him, "La Vie Boheme!" it was a jam session. A party.

They were dancing on the bar, on the table and the chairs. The floor was space for partial mating and make outs. Troy leaned against the wall and just laughed along with everybody else. It's true, it's been a while since he'd smile like this. He actually missed it, and….well, his eyes kept watching the brunette in the corner. Sighing, he shoved off the wall, going to the party and started enjoying himself. Suddenly, Jason spun out and stood on the small stage that held the band of the night, the instruments were glistening slightly under the stage lights.

"In honour of the death of Bohemia," Jason said, his voice sounding aristocratic. "an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner, Sharpay Evans"- she squealed and clapped her hands as she climbed on top of the table, across from him- "just back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the 11th street lot will perform native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder while accompanying herself on the electric cello, which she ain't never studied." Sharpay twisted and gyrated her body as if she were wrapped in tight spandex. Everyone laughed and clapped, Troy hopped up on the table and went up behind Chad,

"And Chad Danforth will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on the high holy days." Chad blushed, making his light chocolate skin seem darker as he shoved Troy lightly who jumped from the table and went over to finger the surface of a red, metallic electric guitar. It…was a beauty.

Chad jumped on the table and said, "and Gabi Montez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn chair handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred." Gabriella stood on the bar, twisting her hips, and stretching her leg high above her head, and then bringing it down-gyrating herself more seductively than Sharpay did. Chad turned to Troy, who had turned immediately when he heard his name be called, "And Troy will attempt to write a sad, bittersweet, evocative song."

He swung the guitar over his head and played the only thing that came to his head, however, what came to his head was not what everyone was wanting to hear. Chad grimaced, but still grinned slightly, "that doesn't remind us of Musetta's Waltz."

Jason bellowed, standing amongst the crowd and sounding like an announcer for a fashion show as Zeke climbed on the table that resembled a runway, he started strutting like a cat, his hips swagging and swinging from left to right. "And Zeke DuShard leMont Baylor will model her latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gal plastic pickle tub." Zeke wasted no breath as he announced Jason, his boyfriend. "And Jason will recount his exploits as an anarchist including the tale of his successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment," -he jumped from the table and climbed to the bar where Jason was writing frantically on a small chalk board that was normally used to write down the drinks that the place was serving at Happy Hour- "to self-destruct as it broadcast the words:…"

Everyone shouted, everyone pumped their fists in the air as they all yelled and screamed, "ACTUAL REALITY, ACT OUT, FIGHT AIDS!"

_Viva La Vie Boheme! _


End file.
